Thor

Normally, watching a set of movies out of order throws everything off. Return of the Jedi before Empire Strikes Back? What the hell is going on with Luke...and wtf happened to Han?!?! Deathly Hallows before Half-Blood Prince? Snape did whatnow?!? Anyway, so for a minute there, I was a bit worried when it started looking like I'd made a mistake watching Captain America before Thor. Turns out, wern't no big thang.

Meh, skip to the review anyway...

In the late first millennium AD, Odin (played by Sir Anthony Hopkins) soundly defeats the Frost Giants, trouncing their leader, Laufey (played by Colm Feore, who you might remember as the guy that gets obliterated by the sun in The Chronicles of Riddick). In the process, Odin loses his right eye, but manages to capture a container known as the Casket of Ancient Winters, and returns to Asgard in triumph. Retelling this tale to his young sons Thor and Loki, Odin rebukes Thor's enthusiasm for the fight and encourages him toward a more even, kingly path.

In present day, Thor (Chris Hemsworth, Kirk's father in the Star Wars reboot) struts through the great hall towards Odin, soon to be crowned as the new king of Asgard and succeeding his father. In the meantime, a trio of Frost Giants sneak into the weapons vault below the hall with the intent of retrieving the Casket. Though they are stopped, Thor's coronation is interrupted and he ultimately convinces his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston), and his friends Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun to travel to Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants, and make them pay for breaking into Asgard. As they prepare to travel to Jotunheim via the Bifrost, the rainbow bridge that connects Asgard to the rest of the universe, they are warned by Heimdall that if  they attempt to return with Frost Giants close by, they will not be allowed in; Asgard will not be put in danger.

Thor prepares to administer an ass beating...

Arriving in Jotunheim, the group quickly locates Laufey and a fight ensues. Thor provides the majority of the ass beatings, but the others don't hesitate to throw down. When one of the Frost Giants touches Volstagg, he's left with a frostbite wound. Shouting a warning to the others, Loki suffers a similar touch, but the frostbite quickly disappears and he's left unaffected. Sensing they are grossly outnumbered, the others tell Thor to head back to the Bifrost point so they can return to Asgard. A chase ensues, and ultimately, they are denied access and surrounded by Frost Giants. Just as shit's about to go down again, Odin appears and brings Thor and the others back to Asgard. Greatly angered by Thor's disobedience and the fact that his actions have broken the truce between the Asgardians and the Frost Giants, Odin strips Thor of all his powers and banishes him to Earth in hopes that he might learn to be less of a cocky prick by being mortal. Odin also sends Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, but not before enchanting it so that only one worthy to wield it can pick it up and gain the powers of Thor.

 Astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman, the girl from Leon: The Professional and probably some other movies nobody's ever seen) has been tracking mysterious storms in the New Mexico deserts. She thinks she has predicted where the next will occur and races out to the desert with her team, Darcy and Dr. Erik Selvig. Soon, the sky darkens and the storm appears. Driving through it, the crew runs into someone in the storm. As the disturbance passes, they find the now mortal but still somewhat impervious Thor. The team drops Thor off at the local hospital and head back to their lab to study the data they collected. There, Foster finds indications that point to the storms being what appears to be a wormhole to another part of the universe. Darcy points out that one of the photos seems to show Thor falling out of the "storm." They immediately head back to the hospital hoping to find the man who fell from the sky.

Meanwhile,  Mjölnir has landed elsewhere in the desert. A local farmer discovers the hammer and, when he's unable to lift it, brings back a large group of people who proceed to have a tailgate party where each person takes turns attempting to pull the hammer out of the ground. Stan Lee is the pickup driver who, after running a chain between his ride and the hammer, loses the ass end of his truck when the hammer refuses to be moved. Shortly thereafter, S.H.I.E.L.D. appears and cordons off the area to study the hammer.

Back in Asgard, Loki has begun to question the events of Jotunheim and why he was unaffected by the Frost Giant's touch. After an argument with the rest of the crew that accompanied Thor regarding bringing him back from Earth, Loki heads to the weapons vault and the Casket of Ancient Winter. Weilding the Casket, Loki begins to take on the appearance of a Frost Giant. Odin arrives and explains to Loki that he is not Odin's biological son. Loki is actually the son of Laufey. Odin rescued Loki as a baby and raised him as his own son. Loki lashes out at Odin. The stress of Loki's discovery and Thor's banishment finally take their toll and Odin collapses into "Odinsleep", a state of deep sleep that allows Odin to recuperate while still being able to see and hear all that goes on around him.

Back on Earth, Foster and her team are treating Thor to a tasty breakfast at a local diner. When a couple of men come in talking about  Mjölnir, Thor discovers the location and heads off. At Selvig's insistence, Foster allows Thor to go off on his own. As they're heading back to the lab, they see Foster's equipment being taken away. Members of S.H.I.E.L.D. are appropriating all of her equipment and research. With nothing better to do, Foster re-locates Thor and agrees to take him to where his hammer lies in wait.

In Asgard, Thor's friends seek out Odin to explain Thor's behavior and request permission to go get him, only to find Loki has taken over as king of Asgard and refuses to allow them to travel to Earth.

Arriving at the location where  Mjölnir rests, Thor and Foster find the hammer surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Thor sneaks in and ultimately fights his way to to his target.  With Hawkeye (cuz he's decent enough to be in The Avengers, but too lame to warrant his own movie) drawn and ready to fire his bow, Thor reaches  Mjölnir. With a self-satisfied smirk, he goes to take his mighty hammer back, but finds he too is unable to remove it from its resting place. Falling to his knees in failure, Thor is taken into custody by S.H.I.E.L.D.

With Thor captive, S.H.I.E.L.D. interrogates him to find out what he knows about the mysterious hammer. During a brief interruption, Loki appears to Thor to inform him that Odin has died, and that Thor may never return to Asgard. Downtrodden, Thor accepts his fate. Dr. Selvig soon shows up at the S.H.I.E.L.D. holding area to explain that Thor is really a close friend, Dr. Donald Blake, and there's been a great mixup. S.H.I.E.L.D., whose system alerts them to "Dr. Blake's" faked identification cards, allows Thor to leave anyway. Dr. Selvig takes Thor drinking to talk to him about Thor and Jane.

» How does it end? «

Loki pays a visit to Jotunheim with a proposition for the Frost Giants: an open invitation to infiltrate Asgard, retrieve their Casket, and kill Odin. Upon his return, Loki lays down the law with Heimdall, making it very clear that as the new king, Loki's word goes without question.

On Earth, Thor learns to accept his newfound friends, as well as his new life away from Asgard. He develops a closer relationship with Jane, having retrieved her notebook from S.H.I.E.L.D. It appears he may be finally learning a lesson or two about caring and being a big Thor. In the meantime, defying Loki's decree (and with a little help from Heimdall), Thor's friends return to Earth to retrieve him. In a rage, Loki freezes Heimdall with the Casket, allows the Frost Giants access to Asgard, and unleashes the Destroyer to kill Thor.

The Destroyer, a metallic automaton who seems impervious to damage, arrives on Earth shortly after Thor's friends. A waiting team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents is little match for the monster, who turns his attentions to the nearby town. Thor's friends find him, inform him that the news of Odin's death is greatly exaggerated, and of their mission to return him to Asgard. Overjoyed, Thor's happiness is soon marred by the arrival of the Destroyer. A battle ensues in which the Destroyer shrugs off the attempts of Thor's friends to defeat it. Thor, after helping evacuate the townsfolk, sacrifices himself to the Destroyer to save his old friends, his new friends, and the town. Though badly beaten by the Destroyer, this selfless act of valor awakens Mjölnir, which flies from its resting place and into Thor's hand. Gaining all of his powers, along with his near invulnerability, a rejuvenated Thor makes short work of the Destroyer. With the monster vanquished, Thor and his friends return to Asgard to right the wrongs of Loki.

Back in Asgard, Laufey gloats over the immobile Odin, knowing he can see and hear everything that's about to happen. As Laufey is about to deliver the killing blow, Loki double crosses him and kills him. Thor arrives just in time to learn of Loki's ultimate plan: to prove his love for his adopted father by destroying Jotunheim and the Frost Giants. After blasting Thor through a wall, Loki heads to the Bifrost. Using his staff, Loki fires a beam of destruction at Jotunheim. Thor, unable to stop the destruction, fights briefly with Loki. After being defeating, Loki gloats knowing that there's seemingly nothing Thor can do to stop the beam. Ultimately, Thor uses Mjölnir to destroy a part of the Bifrost, stopping the destructive beam and saving Jotunheim, but cutting Asgard off from the other worlds, including Earth. As Thor and Loki fall into the abyss left by the Bifrost's destruction, Odin catches Thor by his ankle. After a brief exchange, Loki realizes he's fallen too far out of his adopted father's sight, and allows himself to fall into the abyss. With Asgard back in order, Thor explains to his father what he has learned, and that he still has much more to learn. Though the Bifrost has been damaged and Asgard is cut off from Earth, Heimdall assures Thor that Jane is still waiting for him and that there is always hope for a return.

After the credits, Dr. Selvig arrives on one of the lower levels of the S.H.I.E.L.D. complex. Nick Fury (still Samuel L. "muthafuckin' snakes" Jackson) asks for the doctor's assistance with studying the Cosmic Cube, a device with seemingly unlimited power. In the reflection of a nearby mirror, a haggard-looking Loki is seen giving instructions to Dr. Selvig.

When Thor was in theaters, the comic book fan part of me wanted to see the film. Another part of me had no desire to see Thor redone, since there'd already been a Thor in The Incredible Hulk Returns. However, I avoided seeing it because ultimately, Thor was never a big comic book favorite of mine. Although, as Iron Man had shown, a character that most non-comic book fans were unfamiliar with could make a big splash in their own movie. After watching Captain America: The First Avenger, I was almost glad I hadn't paid to see Thor. If this was the follow-up film, how bad was the initial film? Iron Man had been a good movie, but the schlockyness of Captain America left me dreading what horrors Thor would visit upon me. I'm happy to say my worries were unfounded.

Thor is actually a much better movie that Captain America. The CGI is much cleaner, even though it appears some of the same "all green screen" sets were required for some shots. The Frost Giants are obviously CGI, but they're really no worse than other CGI monsters. The action scenes are somewhat better. The "love story" between Thor and Jane Forster seems much less forced and seems to flow more naturally. It's more a part of the movie and less some unnecessary tacked-on after thought. The characters are fun, with early Thor's brash, I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude providing for enjoyable fight scenes. While Thor's transition to responsible adult Thor is a bit rushed, I'm not sure drawing it out longer wouldn't have had a negative impact on  the film. So overall it was a really good film, and a strong indicator that despite the painful Captain America film, there may yet be hope for The Avengers.

Really, how could you improve on this. Eat it, Avengers.

What would a review be without a bit of complaining, although this is really more again about some of the differences in the comics and actual Norse mythology. In the comics, Loki's alter ego's name, Loki Laufeyson, kind of gives away the fact that he is not Odin's son. Odin doesn't lose his eye in battle, but gives it willingly to possess the Wisdom of Ages so that as the All-Father, he would know everything, including how the Asgardians would fall in Ragnarok. Loki and Thor were never really friends, even as kids. So while they may detract just a tiny bit, since it's not really common knowledge, it doesn't hurt the film all that much. And in the comics, Dr. Donald Blake is actually a host for Thor who finds Mjölnir in a cave and, upon striking the hammer against something, transforms into the God of Thunder (which was actually followed closer in The Incredible Hulk Returns).

Oh, and here's a fun fact you may not have known: several of the days of the week derive their names from Norse gods. While Sunday and Monday are for the sun and moon. Tuesday is Tyr's Day, Tyr being a great viking warrior and the god of single combat. Wednesday is Odin's Day, although it uses the more Germanic spelling Wôdan. Thursday is Thor's Day. Friday is Freja's Day, the goddess of love and beauty. Saturday is named after the Roman god Saturn, because apparently "washing day" was a little too weird for the rest of the world.

So Thor is a good movie. I recommend you see it, especially if you liked Iron Man. Ron Perlman loved Iron Man, but thinks it would have gone over better if it had been called Iron Perlman.

Ron also thought Captain America would have been more popular if it was just him kicking ass and called Captain Ron. But that title was already taken.

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