The Cabin In The Woods

In an effort to cut down on typing time (and since nobody really reads this crap anyway), I'm going to switch a few things around. I'll provide a much shorter summary, since if you really want to know exactly what goes on in the movie, you can always head over to Wikipedia or read the blog of somebody that gets paid to review movies. I've also changed up the rating system a bit, which you can read about here.

A group of five friends make their way to an isolated cabin deep in the woods owned by a cousin for a weekend getaway from school, aborted relationships, and regular everyday life. Once there, they discover a handful of oddities about the cabin, including a 2-way mirror, randomly opening doors, and a basement full of seemingly random objects. Shortly after finding and reading a young girl's journal, the group is attacked by the re-animated corpses of the her family (referred to in the film as "Zombie Redneck Torture Family"). From that moment on, the group of friends fight to survive this seemingly traditional slasher horror film...

Except it's not quite that simple. The events occurring at the cabin are being monitored and influenced by a group of shirt and tie overseers who have an ulterior motive in leading each of the vacationers to their certain demise. And it seems these five may not be their only victims.

» Snape does what now (spoiler)? «

It turns out that the group behind the events in the cabin are killing the friends off in a predetermined sequence that acts as a ritual sacrifice to appease the Old Gods who came before humanity. These five friends represent the basic archetypes found in almost every slasher movie ever. The first to die is "The Whore", followed shortly by "The Fool," "The Warrior," "The Scholar," and ending with "The Virgin." Should the sacrifice fail, the Old Gods will once again rise up and erase mankind from the face of the Earth. In an attempt to stave off this ultimate destruction, the people orchestrating the killings have multiple sacrifice locations, but the cabin ends up being the last viable option. The fate of the world hangs on the the deaths of the five friends.

So each one is killed off in some horrible manner. Thinking only "The Virgin" is left alive and her death is left up to fate, celebration ensues in the observation room below the cabin. But it turns out "The Fool" has managed to evade his zombie pursuer and discover the entrance to the observation labs. He saves "The Virgin" and they both descend into the labs, finding more nightmare monsters and the true purpose of the cabin. After unleashing all the other monsters from their Cube-esque cells, the two are the last left alive. Deigning humanity unworthy, they refuse to kill each other and allow the Old Gods to once again rule the world.

The Cabin In The Woods is a horror-comedy that was written as an attempt to pull the horror genre back from the "torture porn" route it was heading. Co-written by Joss Whedon of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Firefly fame, the movie leans more towards the comedy side of the horror-comedy genre. It's still got some good horror moments, especially once the zombies show up on the scene and towards the end of the movie, but a lot of the perceived attempts at suspenseful horror come off as fully aware of how horribly cliché they are.

The spin on the typical horror film scenario is one of the more interesting, along the same lines of the early M. Night Shyamalan films, the ones with the good twists, not the horribly stupid twists (I'm looking at you, Lady In The Water). Unfortunately, to a certain extent the trailer kind of gives away some of the "surprise" moments. There are a few good cringe-worthy moments involving an invisible barrier around the cabin, and overall the film is a pretty good watch.

There are a handful of big names in the film (including Chris Hemsworth, who played Thor in Thor), but the acting is well done. The characters all fit into the roles they ultimately play. I have to admit, I think Fran Kranz would probably have made a better Shaggy than Matthew Lillard. Or at least a more smartass-y one.

So, would Ron Perlman spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods?

Dispatching Redneck Torture Zombies? Ron Perlman calls that Thursday.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Deep Forest
	Song:	While The Earth Sleeps
	Album:	Strange Days: Music From The Motion Picture