Looper

To clarify what a "Looper" is: In 2074, time travel has been invented and outlawed. The organized crime of the day has a hard time hiding bodies and comes up with the solution of sending those they want killed 30 years into the past to be killed and disposed of. It is the looper's job to kill those targets. The targets have the looper's payment, bars of silver, attached to them. At some point, the looper will have their "loop closed" when their future self is sent back to be killed. This future self will have gold bars instead of silver so that the looper, who has effectively been retired, can live whatever life they feel like with the knowledge that in 30 years, they'll be sent back in time to die.

In the (not so) far flung future of 2044, Joe Simmons is a looper. Joe loves his job. He's good at what he does, and gives little thought to his future beyond hoarding away the silver he earns so he can live out his retirement in France. He and his friend Seth are regular visitors to La Belle Aurore, a local club owned by Abe, an organized crime boss sent back to ensure the loopers do their jobs and close their loops when the time comes. Abe encourages Joe to go to Shanghai instead of France, with the guarantee that Abe's from the future, so he knows what he's talking about. One night, Seth comes to Joe and begs for help: Seth's most recent target was his future self, whom he recognizes and fails to kill. Seth's future self warns him that a powerful mob boss in the future known as The Rainmaker is closing all loops. Joe ultimately turns in Seth, and actions are taken against Present Seth to pass on the message to Future Seth that he has nowhere to run.

Present Joe's loop comes through, but instead of being bound and gagged, Future Joe is free and manages to escape. Present Joe, having seen what happens to loopers who fail to close their loops, is determined to close his loop. Cutting a message into his arm knowing the scar will appear on his future self, Present Joe meets Future Joe at his favorite diner. There, Future Joe confirms that The Rainmaker is closing all loops and Future Joe has come back to kill The Rainmaker before he becomes too powerful. Little is known of The Rainmaker, other than it is said he has a prosthetic jaw and witnessed his mother's murder. Future Joe has come back with only a timecode for the hospital where The Rainmaker was born. He manages to acquire a list of three children born on that day in that hospital, all possible Rainmakers. Before Present Joe can stop Future Joe, Abe's enforcers show up to eliminate both of them. Both Joes escape with a piece of the map showing the location of the possible Rainmakers. So now, the chase is on. Which Joe will be successful first, and how will the future be affected by their actions...

» Wait, now Snape kills Hitler? «

Future Joe finds and kills his first target. Meanwhile, Present Joe arrives on the farm owned by the target on his piece of the map. There, Present Joe meets Sara and her son Cid. After a grueling detox, Present Joe shows Sara his piece of the map. She recognizes the numbers on the map as Cid's birthday and the code of the hospital he was born in. Present Joe offers to stay and protect her and ultimately kill Future Joe when he comes for Cid. Present Joe and Sara get closer and she tells Joe that she is telekinetic, a mutation that has appeared in a small portion of the people in the future. She explains that due to her life situation, she left Cid with her sister and only came back to raise Cid when her sister died, which is why Cid doesn't believe that Sara is his mother.

Future Joe finds his second target, but has reservations when he sees that it is the child of Suzie, an exotic dancer from La Belle Aurore whom Present Joe had a relationship with. Meanwhile, back on the farm, one of Abe's enforcers arrives to question Sara. Cid helps Present Joe hide until the enforcer leaves. But the enforcer soon returns and confronts Present Joe. Cid, sneaking downstairs to see what's going on, trips and falls down several steps. Sara grabs Present Joe and flees the farmhouse as Cid has a violent telekinetic outburst and kills the enforcer.

Meanwhile, Future Joe has returned to Suzie's apartment to kill her child, but is instead ambushed by another enforcer and captured. Taken back to La Belle Aurore and Abe, Future Joe breaks free and proceeds to kill all but one of Abe's enforcers, along with Abe himself. All of his opposition eliminated, Future Joe heads to the farm.

Cid's outburst tells Present Joe that he is The Rainmaker and that his terrifying powers allowed him to take over in the future. Sara explains that as Cid's mother, she can keep him under control. Present Joe has grown attached to Cid and cannot bring himself to kill the boy and stop The Rainmaker. Present Joe decides the best way to keep them safe is for Sara and Cid to leave. Future Joe arrives and confronts Present Joe. Before Present Joe can kill Future Joe, the last surviving enforcer interrupts. Present Joe kills him, but Future Joe manages to get away. Future Joe intercepts Sara and Cid and manages to catch Cid's cheek with a bullet. As Cid is about to have another telekinetic outburst, Sara calms him down.

Present Joe arrives as Future Joe recovers and continues with his plan to kill Cid. Sara sends Cid into a nearby cornfield and stands between him and Future Joe. Present Joe watches the scene unfold and foresees the birth of The Rainmaker: the prosthetic jaw a result of Cid's untreated bullet wound; the hated of loopers a result of seeing his mother killed trying to save him. Present Joe, possessing only a short range weapon, does the only thing he can think to stop Future Joe: he turns the gun on himself.

There's quite a history of time travel films, both jumping forward and travelling backwards. Some of them detail the philosophy behind the limits of time travel, such as The Time Machine's protagonist who cannot save his beloved because it would negate his need to build the time machine he would use to save her. Some deal with the idea of paradoxes and the havoc time travel wreaks, such as Millennium or TimeCop, where small changes to the past drastically change the future. There are even a few serious looks at the possibilities of real life time travel, such as Into the Universe with Stephen Hawking's. Looper is another time travel film, but one that not only goes out of its way to avoid discussing the mechanics of time travel, but for the most part makes you not care.

The movie doesn't do much with time travel other than introduce it as a plot device. As the two Joes sit in the diner, Future Joe tells Present Joe that if he were to try and explain things they'd "be here all day, making diagrams with straws." And it actually works well, for the most part. By relegating time travel to the background, the movie avoids many of the tropes associated with it and tells the story of a man at two different points in his life fighting to save the woman he loves, damn the consequences of that decision.

Sadly, this isn't really CGI, they just
punched him in the face a few times.
Presto, instance Bruce Willis face.

Looper is very cleanly done. There's a good bit of special effects, but the only one that's a little weird are the effects used to make Present Joe, played by Joseph Gordon-Levitt look more like a younger version of Future Joe, played by Bruce Willis. The effects are a little weird to look at since Gordon-Levitt's face is already pretty well known. The other effects, including a hover bike and Future Seth's amputations are all very slick.

If you're looking for deeper meaning in the film, Looper shows the growth of Gordon-Levitt's character from a simple hitman to someone who cares about those his actions effect. Actually, it shows it twice over through both Present Joe's and Future Joe's life choices. Deep down, the movie posits the question: what would you do to protect the ones you love, even from yourself? 

Overall, I think Looper came out pretty well. If you sit down and try to work out exactly the hoops you need to jump through the get the timelines correct, you'll spend a good deal of time arguing over exactly which straw goes where and how to get from point A to point B via points D, G, and R. But, since there's no need for such deep examination to keep the movie going, you can avoid it entirely and just enjoy the film. And if you really want to, Google "Looper straws" and feel free to join in on the stream of arguments. Or post your own theories somewhere where everyone's going to see it (so not the comments below). 

Looper is definately a buy-it. I don't know that seeing it in a theater would add much to the experience, but you'll want to watch it more than once, especially for your straw-based time travel analysis. And I'm sure there are probably some slick extra features that would be worth checking out.

Ron Perlman has time traveled several times, though most of them were for the sake of being in multiple movies at the same time. There was that one time he saved the Titanic from sinking, but the James Cameron got pissed and made him undo it.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Bloc Party
	Song:	Octopus
	Album:	Four

Super 8

I'd love to say that Super 8 was super great, but I think I got to that party super late. I don't super hate Super 8, but I'm also not sure it was worth the super wait. Would it have made a super date? If I did say it was super great, would it leave me in a super state? Or would I still be bored and go super masturbate?

Perhaps I've said too much...


In 1970s Ohio, Joe and his friend Charles, along with assorted other friends, are shooting an amateur film for  an international film competition. While shooting scenes at a local train station, an approaching train presents an opportunity for what Charles calls "Production Value." As the train passes by and the scene is filmed, Joe notices a truck race onto the tracks ahead of the train, causing a massive derailment. In the ensuing mayhem, the camera is knocked over and continues to film the derailment. Once everything settles down and the friends are accounted for, they approach the truck to find their school science teacher. He warns them to get away and not mention the incident with the train.

You ever have someone tell you something was literally
a train wreck? Well, this was a train wreck...literally.

Strange things begin happening around town: all the dogs in the area run away; several townspeople disappear, including the chief of police; and electronic devices, from microwaves to car engines, are mysteriously stolen in large quantities. Joe's dad, now the acting chief of police, attempts to work with the Air Force personnel who've arrived to collect the mysterious contents of the train, but is thrown in prison. Shortly thereafter, the Air Force starts a brush fire, forcing all the residents to evacuate. What could they be hiding that's so important...

» Snape transformed into a what? «

In addition to boxes upon boxes of white cubes, the train that derailed also contained a space alien that had been captured by the Air Force years earlier. The science teacher who derailed the train had been a part of the team investigating the alien and its crashed ship (which was constructed of the white cubes). After being picked up by the alien, he developed a psychic link to the creature and learned of its desire to simply rebuild its ship and go home.

Alice, whom Charles invited to be in the movie in hopes of starting a relationship with, begins falling for Joe. When she's taken by the alien, the kids head to the school to find more information about the alien in the science teacher's storage trailer. With the knowledge they glean from the footage they find, the kids head back into the evacuated town to track down the alien and help it get home. They discover the alien hiding out underneath the town water tower, using the stolen electronics to try and build an electromagnetic.

Here's a shot of the alien. Totally worth it, right?

After being chased by the alien, Joe is captured, but uses the psychic link to convince the alien to finish its device and go home; to forget about the past indignities and finish what it set out to do. The alien rebuilds his spaceship using the electromagnet and leaves Earth. Joe and Alice's dads reconcile their differences, and Joe and his friends finish their movie.

Super 8 feels like two films that have been crammed together to form a single movie.

The first movie is about  a group of friends making a movie and dealing with the random shit that happens in life. In this case, Joe loses his mom in a steel mill accident when she's covering a shift for Alice's dad, who failed to come to work because he was drunk. For this, Joe's dad blames Alice's dad for his loss, so they are forever forbidden from being together. However, over the course of the movie, a relationship develops while another suffers, but ultimately things work out and a pretty amusing amateur film, The Case, gets made.

The second movie is about an alien. Yeah, that's it, a fuckin' alien.

I said more goddamned shadowy, quick-cut alien shots!

It really seems like J. J. Abrams, the writer and director, had a good idea for a movie involving something probably near and dear to him: young filmmakers and the fun-citement of small town life in the 70s. And then somebody was like "Hey, aren't you J. J. Abrams? Like Star Trek rebooting, Lost executive producing, Cloverfield J. J. Abrams? Can't be! Where the fuck is the awesomely scary spacey-mystery-monstery-shit?" So what you end up with is a pretty good movie with some alien shit thrown at it. The alien parts aren't terrible and do add a bit of excitement to the film in certain parts, but the ultimate resolution is telegraphed from a mile away and really kind of detracts from the film. I'm curious as to how the film would have turned out without the sci-fi aspect. Sure, there'd still be some major conflict separate from the minor conflict between the kids, but would it be completely dismissed because it didn't fit with J. J. Abram's string of releases? I guess we'll never know.

Also, the amateur film The Case, about a detective investigating the appearance of zombies around the Romero (see what they did there?) Chemical Factory, plays alongside the credits at the end of the movie and is worth sitting through. It's obviously a little hokey, but that adds to the amusement factor. After seeing all the little bits filmed throughout the movie, its cool to see a final film stitched together from the bits you see. And Charles' final note is good for a quick laugh.

Torn about the 2-movies-in-one premise, we've got 2 ratings for Super 8:

If you're looking for a J. J. Abrams alien film...		If you're looking for good movie about friends, films, a train crash, and can tolerate some alien crap thrown in for effect..
Netflix, cuz you'll probably be mad if you throw any extra money at this film, moreso if you don't want to sit through a bit of Romeo and Juliet.		Should have seen it in theaters to make the big moments bigger

Ron Perlman auditioned for the role of the alien, but they ultimately passed when test audiences literally peed themselves in fear during screenings. Literally.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Flogging Molly
	Song:	Drunken Lullabies
	Album:	Drunken Lullabies

The Cabin In The Woods

In an effort to cut down on typing time (and since nobody really reads this crap anyway), I'm going to switch a few things around. I'll provide a much shorter summary, since if you really want to know exactly what goes on in the movie, you can always head over to Wikipedia or read the blog of somebody that gets paid to review movies. I've also changed up the rating system a bit, which you can read about here.

A group of five friends make their way to an isolated cabin deep in the woods owned by a cousin for a weekend getaway from school, aborted relationships, and regular everyday life. Once there, they discover a handful of oddities about the cabin, including a 2-way mirror, randomly opening doors, and a basement full of seemingly random objects. Shortly after finding and reading a young girl's journal, the group is attacked by the re-animated corpses of the her family (referred to in the film as "Zombie Redneck Torture Family"). From that moment on, the group of friends fight to survive this seemingly traditional slasher horror film...

Except it's not quite that simple. The events occurring at the cabin are being monitored and influenced by a group of shirt and tie overseers who have an ulterior motive in leading each of the vacationers to their certain demise. And it seems these five may not be their only victims.

» Snape does what now (spoiler)? «

It turns out that the group behind the events in the cabin are killing the friends off in a predetermined sequence that acts as a ritual sacrifice to appease the Old Gods who came before humanity. These five friends represent the basic archetypes found in almost every slasher movie ever. The first to die is "The Whore", followed shortly by "The Fool," "The Warrior," "The Scholar," and ending with "The Virgin." Should the sacrifice fail, the Old Gods will once again rise up and erase mankind from the face of the Earth. In an attempt to stave off this ultimate destruction, the people orchestrating the killings have multiple sacrifice locations, but the cabin ends up being the last viable option. The fate of the world hangs on the the deaths of the five friends.

So each one is killed off in some horrible manner. Thinking only "The Virgin" is left alive and her death is left up to fate, celebration ensues in the observation room below the cabin. But it turns out "The Fool" has managed to evade his zombie pursuer and discover the entrance to the observation labs. He saves "The Virgin" and they both descend into the labs, finding more nightmare monsters and the true purpose of the cabin. After unleashing all the other monsters from their Cube-esque cells, the two are the last left alive. Deigning humanity unworthy, they refuse to kill each other and allow the Old Gods to once again rule the world.

The Cabin In The Woods is a horror-comedy that was written as an attempt to pull the horror genre back from the "torture porn" route it was heading. Co-written by Joss Whedon of Buffy: The Vampire Slayer and Firefly fame, the movie leans more towards the comedy side of the horror-comedy genre. It's still got some good horror moments, especially once the zombies show up on the scene and towards the end of the movie, but a lot of the perceived attempts at suspenseful horror come off as fully aware of how horribly cliché they are.

The spin on the typical horror film scenario is one of the more interesting, along the same lines of the early M. Night Shyamalan films, the ones with the good twists, not the horribly stupid twists (I'm looking at you, Lady In The Water). Unfortunately, to a certain extent the trailer kind of gives away some of the "surprise" moments. There are a few good cringe-worthy moments involving an invisible barrier around the cabin, and overall the film is a pretty good watch.

There are a handful of big names in the film (including Chris Hemsworth, who played Thor in Thor), but the acting is well done. The characters all fit into the roles they ultimately play. I have to admit, I think Fran Kranz would probably have made a better Shaggy than Matthew Lillard. Or at least a more smartass-y one.

So, would Ron Perlman spend a weekend in a cabin in the woods?

Dispatching Redneck Torture Zombies? Ron Perlman calls that Thursday.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Deep Forest
	Song:	While The Earth Sleeps
	Album:	Strange Days: Music From The Motion Picture

Hostel: Part III

Sometimes a movie series comes along and tells a grand, overarching story that ties all the movies together and makes one big mega-adventure. And then there are movie series that take a theme, and beat the hell out of it (see Saw, Friday The Thirteenth, etc.). And then there are those series that have ridiculously little to do with each other outside of the same name. Hostel: Part III falls into this last category. Oh, and it sucks.

After a brief scene in a local hostel where a foreign couple are drugged by an unassuming young man and soon find themselves locked in cages to await their demise, the scene shifts to Scott and Amy, a soon-to-be-married couple as Scott leaves for his bachelor party. Under the guise of going golfing in Palm Springs, Carter, Scott's friend, instead takes him to Las Vegas where they meet up with two of Scott's other friends. After a night of clubbing the guys end up at a "freaky" party with a couple of escorts. After Scott rebuffs one of the escorts, he ends up outside and passes out.

This is actually a professional latex
appliance you can buy...and I guess
make your own Hostel: Part III.

The next morning, one of the escorts and one of Scott's friends, Mike, are missing. Mike awakens in a cage across from the foreign man from earlier. Shortly after awakening, Mike is taken to an empty room and strapped to a chair. A set of curtains open to reveal that Mike is in front of an audience. It turns out the audience is there to bid on what sort of pain will be inflicted upon Mike and how he will die. A man enters the room, and after a bit of contemplation, proceeds to cut Mike's face off.

» So What Happens? «

Still having heard nothing from Mike, the rest of the bachelor party breaks into his escort's trailer looking for clues. Instead, they run into the other escort that came on to Scott, who's upset that they haven't heard from the escort either. Said escort awakens in the same room Mike died in, strapped to a table wearing a cheerleader outfit. A man enters and with little fanfare proceeds to spray her face and mouth with what is assumed to be cockroach pheromones. He then dumps a tank of roaches on her who proceed to race down her throat, suffocating her.

After receiving a text message from "Mike" to come to a local hostel where he and the escort spent the night, the group are ambushed, gassed, and awaken in the cells across from the foreign guy. Justin, Scott's other friend, is taken away and Carter informs his captors that a mistake has been made and displays his tattoo as a member of the Elite Hunting Club (the underground group from the Hostel series responsible for setting up the tortures). Scott is shocked to find Carter is behind what's going on. Meanwhile, Justin is killed by a woman in a rather elaborate costume who shoots him repeatedly with a crossbow.

Scott at last is taken away to meet his fate, dressed in a tuxedo. As it turns out, Carter set out to kill Scott with the intention of comforting and then taking Scott's fiancé, Amy. Scott is released from his shackles and a fight with Carter ensues where Scott cuts the tattoo off of Carter to escape.

Meanwhile, the foreign guy escapes his cell, but is killed in the process of killing another guard. Scott returns to the cells and frees the escort, who is then shot by the young man from the beginning scenes. Scott kills the young man. Meanwhile Flemming, the head of the Club, sets a timer to blow the club up. While attempting to leave, Flemming is stabbed to death by Carter. Carter then uses Flemming to cover some spikes that would have prevented him from driving away. Carter sees Scott attempting to flee the Club, and locks the gates so Scott can't escape.

Fast forward, Carter is consoling a distraught Amy. She invites him to stay the night. He accepts, sensing his grand plan is coming to fruition. When Amy returns with a bottle of wine, she tells Carter that Scott survived the explosion and skewers his hand with corkscrew. Carter is taken to the garage, bound, and killed with a garden tiller by a somewhat crispy Scott.

I believe the first Hostel is usually credited as the movie that kicked off the torture porn movie renaissance. And its not hard to see why. Hostel had some gruesome moments, and with its somewhat believable premise, was all the scarier. Hostel: Part II took the same tack, with a bit of a twist ending. Hostel: Part III takes a great big steaming dump on the franchise. I suppose its worth noting that Eli Roth, the director of the first two films, does not appear to be involved with this one at all, which probably explains its utter crappery.

(Spoiler alter: plot points follow) The shock deaths from the first films are pretty much gone. With the exception of Mike's face getting cut off, most of the deaths are either not very exciting (suffocation, arrows, etc) or are done off screen. According to Wikipedia, the budget for this movie falls between the budgets for the first and second movie. That's pretty sad. It seems some of the budget should have been put towards making a better film instead of being set on fire, doused with toilet water, and flushed down said toilet. The acting isn't terrible, and really for a horror film, one can't expect Shakespeare. But there are so many plot points that either don't make sense, or don't add jack to the film.

• The foreign couple are captured, the woman is apparently killed (although there's no death scene, she's just taken away) and the guy pretty much sits in his cell for the rest of the movie making ominous statements about people going off to die until he escapes and is killed.

So we've got this great movie,
you'll love it. You've heard of Hostel...
It's direct-to-DVD. That's OK, right?

• The Elite Hunting Club has apparently been turned into off-track betting instead of pay-for-kill. So now instead of spending money to torture another person, 20 people lost money guessing incorrectly that someone was going to be killed with a screwdriver. I suppose the EHC makes more money, but these rich folk need the Internet. A quick visit to a 4chan gore thread would be cheaper and definitely gorier.

• The guy that drugs the foreign couple appears to be some sort of right-hand man/protege, but the relationship is never really discussed. So it appears that just a douchebag delivery boy. I hope he didn't waste money going to college for that...

• It turns out the killing of the escorts and Scott's friends was an accident. Apparently, in addition to changing business plans, the EHC has also gotten ridiculously sloppy. Oops.

Hostel: Part III really was a let down. With as good as the first two movies were, its a shame this turd had to roll along and ruin things for everybody. As a direct to DVD release, the movie claims to be "Unrated." I can only assume that this was a marketing call because had it actually be rated, it probably would have been PG-13 and people would have known from the get-go that it was not worth watching.

Ron Perlman narrates the TV show "1000 Ways To Die" on Spike TV. They've decided to dedicate an episode to the creative ways people have killed themselves after watching horribly bad movies. Luckily, I'm sure Hostel: Part III will give them a good 6 or seven segments.

When people get tired of hearing about dumb ways other people have been killed, they can always turn the show into a movie review show and call it "1000 Movies That Make You Want To Die." That title's not very catchy though, might need some work.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Ellie Goulding
	Song:	Lights
	Album:	Lights

Rango

You ever go back and watch some of the shows on Nickelodeon that you watched when you were a kid? If so, I'm sure you've found yourself wondering how the hell Ren & Stimpy got the green light. And what the hell, Are You Afraid Of The Dark is really fuggin' scary, especially for little kids. And for everybody that is and was a video game fan, why were the contestants on Nick Arcade so terrible? What does any of this have to do with Rango? Outside of that it was made by Nick, nothing really. I just like remembering when TV didn't suck so much. Curse you, reality TV!

Skip to the review!

Rango (voiced by Johnny Depp) is a pet chameleon who fancies himself a master thespian, but finds his latest bit of acting lacks any sort of conflict for the main character. It's about this time that the car he's riding in swerves to avoid an armadillo, and his terrarium is thrown out the back. The now stranded lizard talks to the armadillo the car hit, named Roadkill (voiced by Alfred Molina, the "Sister Christian" loving drug dealer from Boogie Nights), who directs him to first find Dirt if he hopes to find water to quench his thirst. On his way through the desert, Rango meets Beans (voiced by Isla Fisher, who is married to Borat), a desert iguana with a habit of freezing mid-sentence (a defense mechanism, she assures him). Beans gives Rango a ride to the town of Dirt.

Rango and his posse ride off
in search of the stolen water.

Dirt is suffering from a drought. Locals who can't survive anymore are packing up and leaving. Rango, on his arrival, is immediately conspicuous as a stranger. At a local saloon, he concocts the persona of Rango to test his acting chops and gain the admiration of the local townsfolk. At the saloon, as Rango is basking in the limelight his improvisation has garnered, Bad Bill, the local thug, comes in and, after a brief altercation, challenges Rango to a duel. Mid duel, Bill is run off by a hawk that Rango had encountered earlier in the desert and who has returned to finish him off. A struggle ensues and Rango ends up dropping a water tower on the hawk. For his bravery, Rango is made the new sheriff of Dirt. His first task: find out where the water has gone.

After the local bank's reserves, a water bottle with only a few days of water left in it, are stolen, Rango organizes a posse to find the missing water. The trail leads to a family of moles who have the water bottle. After a grand chase, the water bottle is found to be empty and the moles inform Rango that they had been beaten to the punch when trying to rob the bank. Bringing the moles back to town, Beans discovers that the mayor has been buying up the now unusable land all over town. She shares her concerns with Rango. He confronts the mayor, who denies having anything to do with the water shortage, but shows Rango the new town he's building. As Rango departs, the mayor calls in Rattlesnake Jake (voiced by Bill Nighy, Davy Jones from one of Johnny Depp's other small films, Pirates of the Carrbbean: Dead Man's Chest), a gunslinger who, prior to the death of the hawk, had left Dirt in peace.

» How does it end? «

Jake calls out Rango in front of the townspeople. After shaming Rango, Jake forces him to leave town. On his own in the desert, Rango has a vision of the Spirit of the West, a Clint Eastwood look-a-like in a golf cart with a metal detector who tells Rango he has to finish what he started because "No man can walk out on his own story." Finding new purpose, Rango discovers the mayor has cut off Dirt's water supply (which is coming from Las Vegas) so he can control the future of the town. Returning to the remaining members of the mole family, Rango enlists their help to return to Dirt and defeat Rattlesnake Jake. Rango challenges Jake to a duel. Meanwhile Roadkill and a group of dying yucca plants manage to open the valve on the water supply, deluging the town with water and shooting Jake up into the air via the tunnel the moles used to enter the bank. When Jake recovers the moles use their flying mounts to make Jake think the hawk that kept him at bay has returned. Jake discovers the ruse and begins to shoot down the bats, expending all his ammo and leaving him defenseless.

As Rango is about to shoot Jake, the mayor forces Rango to surrender by threatening Beans. Throwing them both into the now flooding bank vault, the mayor tells Jake there's no place for gunslingers in his new town and tries to shoot the snake with Rango's gun. To the mayor's surprise, Rango has removed the lone bullet in the gun. Jake is unamused, to say the least. Rango, ultimately using Beans as a makeshift gun, fires the bullet at the vault door, which shatters, releasing them. Jake compliments Rango on his resourcefulness, one gunslinger to another, and leaves with the mayor in tow. The citizens of Dirt praise Rango as their hero. The drought is over.

Jake the (Rattle)Snake

Rango is another in a long line of "bumbling idiot beats the bad guys through his own incompetence" films. Although he is but a simple house pet, Rango portrays himself as larger than life to win the admiration of the local townsfolk. When his imagined bravado is put to the test, he ultimately prevails, but only by accidentally shooting one of the lines supporting the disused water tower. His promotion to sheriff is a ruse by the mayor to give the townspeople hope when he knows they truly have none. In one of his many acts as sheriff, he directs the moles attempting to break into the bank in the right direction when they become lost, mistaking them for unlicensed gold prospectors. In the fight with the mole family for the stolen water bottle, his unintentional actions turn the tide after his attempt to portray his posse as a troupe of actors fails. Every sticky situation Rango escapes is just another in a string of dumb luck encounters. This does make the film a little predictable.

Rango is actually a pretty OK film for older kids. There's a lot of action, so it's probably too much for small kids in the sub 5-6 year old range, but the worst language you'll encounter is a couple of "hell"s and "damn"s, which I can guarantee your kids have probably heard by now (especially if you've recently done any home improvement or carpentry projects). Rattlesnake Jake is probably the scariest character, but really, he's a rattlesnake, that should come as no surprise. The movie was panned by some for its smoking, but really wasn't that prevalent. More of a reflection of the style of the film (old western), it's obviously not some attempt to turn the movie into a Marlboro ad. So no worries, your 7 year old can survive a viewing of Rango. But it wouldn't hurt for you to watch it with them, at least for the younger ones.

The film also has a few nods to grown-ups, as the more recent family films do. Early on, Rango ends up as a bug on the windshield of a car driven by a Hunter S. Thompson character, the subject of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (who happened to be played by Johnny Depp). There are also several Western movie nods, and few more subtly adapted scenes that the older viewers may pick up on but kids will just think are awesome action scenes.

So overall, Rango is a pretty decent family film. There's nothing spectacular about it, it's not going to be a Citizen Kane-esque masterpiece that changes the world (which it doesn't try to be, by any means), but it's definitely well done. The graphics are high quality, given that a lot of characters have whiserky faces and little hairs that would be annoyingly obvious if poorly rendered. The overall theme of the film, about finding one's place in life, is a little existential, but is good for kids since no doubt they'll soon be facing their own "what am I going to do with my life?" questions down the road. It is well paced, there are few, if any, slow spots. The general story is a little clichéd, but it doesn't detract from the film outside of the predictability. The movie isn't hilariously funny, but has a few chuckle moments, as well as a few cute moments. So while not as super kid friendly as say Cars or Toy Story, it's still a relatively safe family movie for everyone to enjoy.

Ron Perlman hopes to land a similar role where he gets lost in the desert, discovers a small town suffering from a drought, and saves the day by being gruff as hell.

In case you were wondering, the working title is Rongo.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Daft Punk
	Song:	Solar Sailer
	Album:	Tron Legacy Soundtrack

Trollhunter

For a movie that has so many strikes against it right out of the gate, I was pleasantly surprised by Trollhunter. Note that even though it looks like two words on the box art, it's actually one word. Also note that on same said box art, that truck is actually driving under a troll's twig and berries. Ah, but there'll be plenty of time to complain and bore you after the recap.

Or just get to it now...

A group of university students investigating reports of illegal bear poaching in Norway arrive on the scene of the most recent killing. They set up and interview several of the local licensed bear hunters who explain that one needs a license to hunt bears, that the tracks around this particular bear look a little odd, and that it seems the bear has been left here instead of actually being killed where it lies. They also interview Finn Haugen, head of the Norwegian Wildlife Board. Finn dismisses the claims of the bear hunters. The students seem somewhat more inclined to believe the hunters. The hunters also discuss an unknown man who appeared recently and may be the one responsible for the bear poaching, though none of them can prove it.

The students, named Thomas (the interviewer), Johanna (the sound girl), and Kalle (the cameraman), eventually track down the mysterious hunter, who lives in a foul-smelling trailer and only goes out at night. They follow him attempting to get an interview multiple times and are repeatedly rebuked by the hunter, who tells them to go away and leave him alone. The continue to track the hunter, whose name is Hans, following him out into the woods hoping to catch him possibly in the act. In the distance, they see several bright flashes of light, along with distintly not-a-bear animal roars. Suddenly, Hans comes running towards them, screams "Troll!" and tears off back the way they came. The students hear the sound of crashing through the trees and follow suit, hauling ass back to Hans' Land Rover. On the way back, Thomas is bit in the shoulder by whatever is chasing them.

Once back at the car, Hans cleans Thomas' wound and agrees to take them back to their car, which they find overturned, demolished, and missing all of its tires. Incredulous, the students ask Hans repeatedly if he actually said "troll" in the woods. After asking if Thomas was so certain it was a bear that attacked him, the students let their curiosity get the better of them and ask Hans if he would allow them to follow him on his hunting trip to film what's really going on. Hans agrees on one condition: the students do exactly as he tells them, no matter what.  Of course they quickly agree.

You'd be pissed too if you were
interrupted while dropping a deuce
in the woods

The next night they meet up with Hans, who proceeds to question if any of them are Christian. Confused as to the question, they all respond no, and Hans then explains that trolls can smell the blood of a Christian man, so if they believe in God or Jesus, they are a liability. They reiterate their lack of belief and the crew sets off. They return to the same woods as the previous night, where Hans has the students slather themselves in a foul-smelling troll scent. Hans carries a weapon with a bright light on one end that produces UV rays similar to sunlight that usually turns trolls to stone, but can also cause them to explode. The students wait while Hans goes into a group of trees and manages to flush out a three-headed troll that's roughly the same height as the trees. They all make a mad dash back to the Land Rover where Hans uses a rack of UV lights mounted to the top of the vehicle to turn the troll to stone. Hans then begins the arduous task of destroying the stone-troll with explosives and a jackhammer.

Finn arrives on scene a short time later. Obviously dismayed that he is being filmed, Finn discusses the troll incident with Hans. Shortly thereafter a van for a Polish painting company arrives and a crew of Polish bear trappers deliver a bear carcass which will be used to explain the killing of local farm animals committed by the troll. Finn is upset that the bear is obviously of the wrong type, but has little choice in the matter. The bear is placed and Finn begins to use a set of bear paw stilts to make fake bear prints around the bear. Finn angrily objects to what Hans is allowing the film crew to see and threatens them and their footage before leaving the scene. After firing a rifle round into the bear carcass, Hans sits down and explains to the students that he and Finn are part of the TSS, the Troll Security Service, and are responsible for making sure trolls stay in their designated habitation areas. When a troll escapes and runs amok, they are tasked with either driving them back to their homes or destroying the thing. Recently, Hans explains, a mass exodus of trolls has been seen and no one seems to know why. His intention was to get a blood sample from the troll he encountered the night Thomas got bit, called a Ringlefinch, but this recently destroyed troll was a Tosserlad, and not the same troll as before.

The next day, after setting out to find the Ringlefinch, Hans goes into more detail about the nature of trolls. He explains that there are two main groups: mountain trolls and woodland trolls. Most trolls don't grow multiple heads until later in life, and these heads are more of a useless appendage than a functional head. Their primary head only has a single eye in the middle. They can live to be over 1000 years old, and they're incredibly dumb, demonstrated by a troll Hans encountered that, while attempting to eat its own tail, ends up rolling down a hill end over end "like a wheel." He also shows the students a form that has to be filled out for the TSS each time a troll is killed, detailing the features of the troll and the circumstances of the kill.

After investigating several areas, the quartet head to a local sheep killing where Hans believes he's found indications of the troll he needs the blood sample from. Upon arriving, the students find Finn explaining to the local media how a Russian bear who traveled through Finland and Sweden is responsible for killing the sheep. He explains to a somewhat surprised reporter that the remains found under a nearby bridge are the bear's stored food, a behavior normal for Russian bears, kind of like a squirrel. Finn recognizes the students and gives them a rather cold look. As everyone heads back to the bear carcass, Thomas notes an odd feature of the nearby bear tracks. It appears the left and right paw prints are crossed, so the bear would have to have been walking cross-legged to leave tracks like that. Thomas looks over at Finn, who turns away and leaves. Hans confirms that this should be the troll they're looking for.

When they return later that night to the bridge, Hans has the students keep a good distance away from the bridge as he baits the troll with several sheep and goats. After several hours of waiting, the troll finally makes its appearance, devouring one of the sheep. The students rush out to the road near the bridge to find Hans in a full body suit of makeshift armor with a bucket of blood and a fire-extinguisher sized syringe. Explaining the blood is a Christian man's blood, Hans proceeds to dump it out on the bridge. The troll underneath is driven into a frenzy and, climbing up on the bridge, proceeds to beat the shit out of Hans, ultimately knocking him unconscious. When the troll retreats back under the bridge, the students revive Hans. He takes the syringe under the bridge, retrieves his blood sample, and flashes the troll with light, causing it to explode violently.

With the blood sample in hand, the crew heads to a local vet for examination. The vet explains that the trolls have a problem processing Vitamin D into calcium, and that exposure to sunlight or UV light causes their bodies to overreact. Their stomachs expand and flood their veins with fluids and gases. In the case of younger trolls, this causes the violent explosion. For older trolls, their veins are too constricted, so the gases and fluid enter their bones and causes them to calcify rapidly, turning to stone. While the vet doesn't have any immediate answers, she tells them it will take several days to determine if anything is wrong with the trolls that's visible in their blood.

It looks so inviting

After investigating more troll gathering areas, more potential troll activity is found. A local farmer has had several trees uprooted, which were explained to him as a localized tornado, complete with radar scans. On investigating, Hans and the students find a nearby abandoned mine that the trolls appear to have moved into. They enter the mine, though Kalle is very reluctant until Hans confirms that there are no trolls inside. Investigating the cave, they find no one home. Unfortunately, on their trip out, the trolls, this type known as Mountain Kings, return home. The group retreat back into the mine and take cover in an alcove. The trolls begin finding a comfortable spots and going to sleep. Meanwhile, Kalle is frantically rubbing the troll scent on himself. When the scent finally runs out, he reveals that he lied, and is, in fact, a Christian. Afraid for his life, the trolls nearby catch his scent and begin to stir and uncover the group. Their cover blown, they make a mad dash for the mine entrance with the trolls hot on their heels. Just as they're about to make it out, Kalle is lifted high into the air and devoured by the trolls. Johanna retrieves the camera while Thomas mourns the loss of Kalle.

The crew return to Hans' trailer to find Finn searching for their tapes. Finn tells Hans that he must travel deep into troll territory to find out what's going on with the trolls. Hans refuses because, as he later explains, he once had to massacre a slew of trolls in the area because of some tunnel work that was being done. In the end, though, he really has no choice and has to go because it is his job. The crew acquire a new camerawoman, Malica, who is Muslim. Though not a Christian, Hans is unsure what will happen with a Muslim, but is willing to see what happens.

» How does it end? «

After outfitting Hans' Land Rover with new equipment, they head out to troll country, which is surround by electric power lines that act as a sort of electric fence. They begin finding signs of what looks to be a Jotnar, a 200 foot tall mountain troll. To help narrow down where to look, they visit the local power station to see if any odd things have happened. It just so happens a large section of the power grid went down recently, giving them their starting point. Thomas then points out to the plant tech that the power lines around the troll territory are just a big circle and don't actually seem to feed power to anything. The tech agrees that it is odd, but doesn't seem overly concerned.

Concerned about what would cause a Jotnar to break out, the crew head out towards a cabin in the middle of the troll zone to see if they can find the giant troll. At the cabin, Thomas, whose shoulder bite has been bothering him on and off during this adventure, collapses in pain. While he's resting inside the cabin, a flock of disturbed birds flies by, and it appears the Jotnar may be nearby. While Hans prepares his vehicle, his cell phone rings. Thomas answers, and the vet from earlier informs him that the troll blood sample was infected with rabies. The reason for all the strange troll behavior is that one of the trolls, possibly the Jotnar, has become infected and passed it on to other groups of trolls. In fact, the shoulder wound Thomas suffered has passed the rabies on to him. Thomas can't believe it. Hans has everyone head back into the cabin as there's no time to seek medical treatment with the Jotnar so close by.

Staring out the window, the students see the Jotnar stumble through some nearby mountains toward the cabin. Outside, Hans is driving his Land Rover towards the troll, blasting Christian hymns to get the giant's attention. The enraged troll chases the Rover while the students watch. Running to catch up, they see Hans begin flashing the troll with a bright UV spotlight mounted to the top of his Rover. Before the troll can be destroyed by a sufficient dose of UV, the batteries on the Rover die. Hans drives by and picks up the students as they speed away from the now injured troll. After wearing the troll down with a chase, Hans delivers a few more shots of UV, but still not enough to kill the troll. In the meantime, the group picks up a geologist who'd been in the area investigating seismic activity. The troll gives chase and eventually swipes the Rover and rolls it over.

As everyone emerges from the damaged vehicle and checks their equipment, the Jotnar is in bad shape, but still alive. Hans prepares his backpack and a UV bazooka to finish the troll. He gives the students and geologist directions back to the highway and walks out to face the giant. With the killing blow delivered, the troll is turned to stone and collapses into a giant pile of rubble. Hans walks off into the sunrise and everyone else heads towards the highway. The geologist points to a group of vans heading towards them that appear to be Finn and his men come to take the footage they've gathered. Thomas wrestles the camera from Malica and starts sprinting for the highway. A semi truck screeches to a halt as the camera goes black.

So Trollhunter starts out in hole in film terms for most audiences. First off it's a foreign film, which usually means references to things no one here has heard of. Second, as a result of being foreign, it is subtitled, which requires reading, which (sadly) turns off a good portion of the population. Lastly, it's in the same "found footage" genre as The Blair Witch Project and Cloverfield. So for those that thought the way Blair Witch was filmed was terrible, they may be discouraged by this film. While all of those reasons might hurt the movie, it's a shame because on the whole, the movie is actually really, really good.

The documentary style of filming really doesn't hurt the movie at all. It doesn't get in the way of moving the story forward and actually provides a few little nods to the audience in the things that are recorded that might not be noticed with a normal fixed camera movie. The story is somewhat original, which is nice to see in this day and age of non-stop sequels and remakes. On top of that, it's an interesting story. While the usual secret government agency story involves someone being drafted into it (a la Men In Black), in this case Hans is just tired of the job he does and decides to allow the students to film it all so it can be put out to the public. And while the purpose of the Troll Security Service is made apparent, for the most part it isn't totally given away as to who works for them and who just accepts what they're being told by them.

Perhaps the best part of the movie are the trolls. Unlike Blair Witch, there's no eternal mystery as to what's going on. This movie wouldn't have been even half as good if all we ever got were shaking trees, footprints, and hazy hints of what the troll might look like. Here, we're given full shots of every troll that's encountered, and they're all different. The trolls are really well done. They look scary without being some sort of bloody monster mess, and their size variations make each encounter unique. The amount of screen time given to the final troll is impressive given the size and situation required. It really is great to watch a film that doesn't dance around the monsters and keep them shrouded in some sort of secrecy to try and heighten tension, but ultimately ruining the final reveal by not living up to the overblown expectation.

So overall this movie is really a fun movie to watch. The pace is good, there are very few slow spots. The graphics are well done, so the trolls don't look hokey and are quite believable. If you can tolerate the subtitles and don't get motion sick from watching jerky camera movies, definitely see Trollhunter.

No stranger to subtitles, Ron Perlman is not afraid to have to do a little reading while watching a movie. He's also partial to trolls as he may or may not be part troll himself. But keep that under your hat.

Of course Ron Perlman's not a troll. That's just silly...Silly... (ಠ_ಠ)

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Flux Pavilion
	Song:	I Can't Stop
	Album:	Circus One presented by Doctor P and Flux Pavilion

Thor

Normally, watching a set of movies out of order throws everything off. Return of the Jedi before Empire Strikes Back? What the hell is going on with Luke...and wtf happened to Han?!?! Deathly Hallows before Half-Blood Prince? Snape did whatnow?!? Anyway, so for a minute there, I was a bit worried when it started looking like I'd made a mistake watching Captain America before Thor. Turns out, wern't no big thang.

Meh, skip to the review anyway...

In the late first millennium AD, Odin (played by Sir Anthony Hopkins) soundly defeats the Frost Giants, trouncing their leader, Laufey (played by Colm Feore, who you might remember as the guy that gets obliterated by the sun in The Chronicles of Riddick). In the process, Odin loses his right eye, but manages to capture a container known as the Casket of Ancient Winters, and returns to Asgard in triumph. Retelling this tale to his young sons Thor and Loki, Odin rebukes Thor's enthusiasm for the fight and encourages him toward a more even, kingly path.

In present day, Thor (Chris Hemsworth, Kirk's father in the Star Wars reboot) struts through the great hall towards Odin, soon to be crowned as the new king of Asgard and succeeding his father. In the meantime, a trio of Frost Giants sneak into the weapons vault below the hall with the intent of retrieving the Casket. Though they are stopped, Thor's coronation is interrupted and he ultimately convinces his brother Loki (Tom Hiddleston), and his friends Sif, Volstagg, Fandral, and Hogun to travel to Jotunheim, home of the Frost Giants, and make them pay for breaking into Asgard. As they prepare to travel to Jotunheim via the Bifrost, the rainbow bridge that connects Asgard to the rest of the universe, they are warned by Heimdall that if  they attempt to return with Frost Giants close by, they will not be allowed in; Asgard will not be put in danger.

Thor prepares to administer an ass beating...

Arriving in Jotunheim, the group quickly locates Laufey and a fight ensues. Thor provides the majority of the ass beatings, but the others don't hesitate to throw down. When one of the Frost Giants touches Volstagg, he's left with a frostbite wound. Shouting a warning to the others, Loki suffers a similar touch, but the frostbite quickly disappears and he's left unaffected. Sensing they are grossly outnumbered, the others tell Thor to head back to the Bifrost point so they can return to Asgard. A chase ensues, and ultimately, they are denied access and surrounded by Frost Giants. Just as shit's about to go down again, Odin appears and brings Thor and the others back to Asgard. Greatly angered by Thor's disobedience and the fact that his actions have broken the truce between the Asgardians and the Frost Giants, Odin strips Thor of all his powers and banishes him to Earth in hopes that he might learn to be less of a cocky prick by being mortal. Odin also sends Thor's hammer, Mjölnir, but not before enchanting it so that only one worthy to wield it can pick it up and gain the powers of Thor.

 Astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman, the girl from Leon: The Professional and probably some other movies nobody's ever seen) has been tracking mysterious storms in the New Mexico deserts. She thinks she has predicted where the next will occur and races out to the desert with her team, Darcy and Dr. Erik Selvig. Soon, the sky darkens and the storm appears. Driving through it, the crew runs into someone in the storm. As the disturbance passes, they find the now mortal but still somewhat impervious Thor. The team drops Thor off at the local hospital and head back to their lab to study the data they collected. There, Foster finds indications that point to the storms being what appears to be a wormhole to another part of the universe. Darcy points out that one of the photos seems to show Thor falling out of the "storm." They immediately head back to the hospital hoping to find the man who fell from the sky.

Meanwhile,  Mjölnir has landed elsewhere in the desert. A local farmer discovers the hammer and, when he's unable to lift it, brings back a large group of people who proceed to have a tailgate party where each person takes turns attempting to pull the hammer out of the ground. Stan Lee is the pickup driver who, after running a chain between his ride and the hammer, loses the ass end of his truck when the hammer refuses to be moved. Shortly thereafter, S.H.I.E.L.D. appears and cordons off the area to study the hammer.

Back in Asgard, Loki has begun to question the events of Jotunheim and why he was unaffected by the Frost Giant's touch. After an argument with the rest of the crew that accompanied Thor regarding bringing him back from Earth, Loki heads to the weapons vault and the Casket of Ancient Winter. Weilding the Casket, Loki begins to take on the appearance of a Frost Giant. Odin arrives and explains to Loki that he is not Odin's biological son. Loki is actually the son of Laufey. Odin rescued Loki as a baby and raised him as his own son. Loki lashes out at Odin. The stress of Loki's discovery and Thor's banishment finally take their toll and Odin collapses into "Odinsleep", a state of deep sleep that allows Odin to recuperate while still being able to see and hear all that goes on around him.

Back on Earth, Foster and her team are treating Thor to a tasty breakfast at a local diner. When a couple of men come in talking about  Mjölnir, Thor discovers the location and heads off. At Selvig's insistence, Foster allows Thor to go off on his own. As they're heading back to the lab, they see Foster's equipment being taken away. Members of S.H.I.E.L.D. are appropriating all of her equipment and research. With nothing better to do, Foster re-locates Thor and agrees to take him to where his hammer lies in wait.

In Asgard, Thor's friends seek out Odin to explain Thor's behavior and request permission to go get him, only to find Loki has taken over as king of Asgard and refuses to allow them to travel to Earth.

Arriving at the location where  Mjölnir rests, Thor and Foster find the hammer surrounded by S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. Thor sneaks in and ultimately fights his way to to his target.  With Hawkeye (cuz he's decent enough to be in The Avengers, but too lame to warrant his own movie) drawn and ready to fire his bow, Thor reaches  Mjölnir. With a self-satisfied smirk, he goes to take his mighty hammer back, but finds he too is unable to remove it from its resting place. Falling to his knees in failure, Thor is taken into custody by S.H.I.E.L.D.

With Thor captive, S.H.I.E.L.D. interrogates him to find out what he knows about the mysterious hammer. During a brief interruption, Loki appears to Thor to inform him that Odin has died, and that Thor may never return to Asgard. Downtrodden, Thor accepts his fate. Dr. Selvig soon shows up at the S.H.I.E.L.D. holding area to explain that Thor is really a close friend, Dr. Donald Blake, and there's been a great mixup. S.H.I.E.L.D., whose system alerts them to "Dr. Blake's" faked identification cards, allows Thor to leave anyway. Dr. Selvig takes Thor drinking to talk to him about Thor and Jane.

» How does it end? «

Loki pays a visit to Jotunheim with a proposition for the Frost Giants: an open invitation to infiltrate Asgard, retrieve their Casket, and kill Odin. Upon his return, Loki lays down the law with Heimdall, making it very clear that as the new king, Loki's word goes without question.

On Earth, Thor learns to accept his newfound friends, as well as his new life away from Asgard. He develops a closer relationship with Jane, having retrieved her notebook from S.H.I.E.L.D. It appears he may be finally learning a lesson or two about caring and being a big Thor. In the meantime, defying Loki's decree (and with a little help from Heimdall), Thor's friends return to Earth to retrieve him. In a rage, Loki freezes Heimdall with the Casket, allows the Frost Giants access to Asgard, and unleashes the Destroyer to kill Thor.

The Destroyer, a metallic automaton who seems impervious to damage, arrives on Earth shortly after Thor's friends. A waiting team of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents is little match for the monster, who turns his attentions to the nearby town. Thor's friends find him, inform him that the news of Odin's death is greatly exaggerated, and of their mission to return him to Asgard. Overjoyed, Thor's happiness is soon marred by the arrival of the Destroyer. A battle ensues in which the Destroyer shrugs off the attempts of Thor's friends to defeat it. Thor, after helping evacuate the townsfolk, sacrifices himself to the Destroyer to save his old friends, his new friends, and the town. Though badly beaten by the Destroyer, this selfless act of valor awakens Mjölnir, which flies from its resting place and into Thor's hand. Gaining all of his powers, along with his near invulnerability, a rejuvenated Thor makes short work of the Destroyer. With the monster vanquished, Thor and his friends return to Asgard to right the wrongs of Loki.

Back in Asgard, Laufey gloats over the immobile Odin, knowing he can see and hear everything that's about to happen. As Laufey is about to deliver the killing blow, Loki double crosses him and kills him. Thor arrives just in time to learn of Loki's ultimate plan: to prove his love for his adopted father by destroying Jotunheim and the Frost Giants. After blasting Thor through a wall, Loki heads to the Bifrost. Using his staff, Loki fires a beam of destruction at Jotunheim. Thor, unable to stop the destruction, fights briefly with Loki. After being defeating, Loki gloats knowing that there's seemingly nothing Thor can do to stop the beam. Ultimately, Thor uses Mjölnir to destroy a part of the Bifrost, stopping the destructive beam and saving Jotunheim, but cutting Asgard off from the other worlds, including Earth. As Thor and Loki fall into the abyss left by the Bifrost's destruction, Odin catches Thor by his ankle. After a brief exchange, Loki realizes he's fallen too far out of his adopted father's sight, and allows himself to fall into the abyss. With Asgard back in order, Thor explains to his father what he has learned, and that he still has much more to learn. Though the Bifrost has been damaged and Asgard is cut off from Earth, Heimdall assures Thor that Jane is still waiting for him and that there is always hope for a return.

After the credits, Dr. Selvig arrives on one of the lower levels of the S.H.I.E.L.D. complex. Nick Fury (still Samuel L. "muthafuckin' snakes" Jackson) asks for the doctor's assistance with studying the Cosmic Cube, a device with seemingly unlimited power. In the reflection of a nearby mirror, a haggard-looking Loki is seen giving instructions to Dr. Selvig.

When Thor was in theaters, the comic book fan part of me wanted to see the film. Another part of me had no desire to see Thor redone, since there'd already been a Thor in The Incredible Hulk Returns. However, I avoided seeing it because ultimately, Thor was never a big comic book favorite of mine. Although, as Iron Man had shown, a character that most non-comic book fans were unfamiliar with could make a big splash in their own movie. After watching Captain America: The First Avenger, I was almost glad I hadn't paid to see Thor. If this was the follow-up film, how bad was the initial film? Iron Man had been a good movie, but the schlockyness of Captain America left me dreading what horrors Thor would visit upon me. I'm happy to say my worries were unfounded.

Thor is actually a much better movie that Captain America. The CGI is much cleaner, even though it appears some of the same "all green screen" sets were required for some shots. The Frost Giants are obviously CGI, but they're really no worse than other CGI monsters. The action scenes are somewhat better. The "love story" between Thor and Jane Forster seems much less forced and seems to flow more naturally. It's more a part of the movie and less some unnecessary tacked-on after thought. The characters are fun, with early Thor's brash, I-don't-give-a-fuck attitude providing for enjoyable fight scenes. While Thor's transition to responsible adult Thor is a bit rushed, I'm not sure drawing it out longer wouldn't have had a negative impact on  the film. So overall it was a really good film, and a strong indicator that despite the painful Captain America film, there may yet be hope for The Avengers.

Really, how could you improve on this. Eat it, Avengers.

What would a review be without a bit of complaining, although this is really more again about some of the differences in the comics and actual Norse mythology. In the comics, Loki's alter ego's name, Loki Laufeyson, kind of gives away the fact that he is not Odin's son. Odin doesn't lose his eye in battle, but gives it willingly to possess the Wisdom of Ages so that as the All-Father, he would know everything, including how the Asgardians would fall in Ragnarok. Loki and Thor were never really friends, even as kids. So while they may detract just a tiny bit, since it's not really common knowledge, it doesn't hurt the film all that much. And in the comics, Dr. Donald Blake is actually a host for Thor who finds Mjölnir in a cave and, upon striking the hammer against something, transforms into the God of Thunder (which was actually followed closer in The Incredible Hulk Returns).

Oh, and here's a fun fact you may not have known: several of the days of the week derive their names from Norse gods. While Sunday and Monday are for the sun and moon. Tuesday is Tyr's Day, Tyr being a great viking warrior and the god of single combat. Wednesday is Odin's Day, although it uses the more Germanic spelling Wôdan. Thursday is Thor's Day. Friday is Freja's Day, the goddess of love and beauty. Saturday is named after the Roman god Saturn, because apparently "washing day" was a little too weird for the rest of the world.

So Thor is a good movie. I recommend you see it, especially if you liked Iron Man. Ron Perlman loved Iron Man, but thinks it would have gone over better if it had been called Iron Perlman.

Ron also thought Captain America would have been more popular if it was just him kicking ass and called Captain Ron. But that title was already taken.

From My Playlist
	Artist:	Metric
	Song:	Help I'm Alive
	Album:	Fantasies